Sunday, November 22, 2009

Listen

I had surgery on Wednesday to put a drain in my abdomen that will hopefully get rid of the water there once and for all. As I got prepped for surgery, I looked up at Dr. Ott and said: "I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you about wearing the girdles everyday. If I had, perhaps we wouldn't have had this complication." She nodded understandably and said: "That's alright. You're the kind of person that likes to go, go, go, and that's when things like that happen."

She's right about that, but I still feel I was negligent on my part simply because I deluded myself into thinking I can continue doing things like I was completely normal healthwise, when I'm not yet. My mom and dad always said, Marcy you don't listen. And that's one trait that has set me back throughout my life. One of the reasons I don't listen is because what I'm advised to do isn't what I FEEL like doing, it's usually harder, it requires delayed gratification.

I'm older now, and I feel like I can't afford NOT to listen, because the consequences are just too great. It's harder to bounce back from a mistake at 53 than it is to bounce back at 25 years old. I've finally surrendered to the fact that I don't want to keep doing things the hard way. And now that I hold my health precious, I'm not going to ignore the doctor's orders so flippantly. Someone once told me, if you push yourself while recovering from surgery, you're only taking two steps backward. Guess what?
They were right.

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