Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hello Again

I am sorry that I have not posted for so long. What I am realizing over time is that spilling your guts out on a blog as if it is a diary can have negative repercussions.  I also want to refocus on the original mission of my blog, which is to give helpful advise to women who are currently battling breast cancer or survivors, like me.

It has been more than four years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. From this perspective,  I have to warn some of you that the tremendous support you got used to during your rigorous treatment, eventually goes away.

When that happens, you may suddenly feel abandoned because all the people that were there will assume not that you are well, they can "leave the camp" so to speak. You may feel let down, you may even get depressed.

That is what happened to me. The next chapter of your life could be called: "After cancer, now what?"

Suddenly, all the things that you wished for, that you hoped for in your life become bold letters of message on a blank page.

THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I PLANNED. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?  WHAT WRONG DECISIONS DID I MAKE TO GET ME IN THIS PLACE?

And then there's the inevitable next question: WHAT CAN I DO NOW TO MAKE THINGS CHANGE?

These questions have been dominating my mind for the past five months and they won't go away.

I decided that perhaps I should seek professional help. So I did. The questions haven't been answered yet.

But this is one good thing my therapist said that makes me feel good.

"You are a cancer survivor. You have gained skills through that experience that you will never lose." You have proven that you can fight when death knocks at your door. Do not underestimate yourself. If you can do that, you can change your life for the better."

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