Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I'm Still Standing

Today started off bad because I got my car towed and it cost me $180 to get it back.  I cried and threw a pen and the cash at the receptionist at the auto service center.  I stomped out, my tires screeched and dirt flew as I got the hell out of there.

I had to make a meeting at noon. When I arrived, still steaming mad at the injustice of it all, I noticed a man at the back of the room. His face was pale white and an oxygen tube was stuck up his nose. The tube dangled along both sides of his mouth and chin like two hanging vines. His eyes were hollow. Clearly the guy was sick.

When he spoke, he told us what wrong with him. He had just gotten out of Yale-New Haven hospital that day. Apparently, his liver cancer, spread to his lungs and started suffocating him. He now must carry this oxygen tank with him wherever he goes for the rest of his life.

And the rest of his life is coming to an end quickly. He was supposed to die last year. But there he was--still standing against all odds. He told us he refused to die. Now now. He said he will die when he is good and ready. I could here stifled sobs around me as he spoke. I bowed my head and covered my brow with my hands as if I was trying to shade my eyes from the sun. In truth, I was trying to conceal my own tears.

That is when I realized that I should be so lucky to dwell on a problem as menial as getting my car towed. Here I am--a cancer survivor--and no one gave me a death sentence.  He has to wake up and face that for the rest of his days.

How dare I think, woe is me. Today I am grateful because I beat cancer.  I don't have to stare at impending death in the eye. I'm still standing and God willing I'll be standing here for a long time

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