Saturday, April 6, 2013


Superficiality:  Shallowness, lack of depth, lack of substance, emptiness, triviality.

The older I get the more I embrace the old adage: "You can't judge a book by its cover." In order to understand the character of a person, you've got to sit back and watch how they act.

I learned this lesson big time in my early '40s. Back in 1998, I started dating this guy that seemingly had it all. He was handsome. He had a good job. I felt like he was a knight in shining armor riding towards me in his midnight-blue Mercedes sedan, clad in a Brooks Brothers suit.

Everyone agreed that I had hit the jackpot. He impressed my family, friends and even my boss. But as time went on, cracks started opening on his shiny facade. He lived with his parents in a run-down Tudor home in Queens, New York. They were broke and he had to support them. He was more than $200,000 in debt. He was arrogant and I got the feeling he was always eyeing the possibility of finding someone better.

When I pulled away because of his pretentiousness, he asked me to marry him. I wanted to know where we would live. He replied: "With my parents of course." That didn't go over with me very well. I quickly realized there was no room for me in his life because he had his hands full taking care of other people. It was time to cut my losses and move on.

Three months after I walked away, along comes this rough around the edges guy that picks me up on a date in a beat-up car. He didn't have the style and class like the previous guy, but it turns out he had so much more. He lived in a beautiful home along the river. He was kind and generous to all of his friends and family. He was a cheapskate, and because of that, he was a millionaire.

There were days when he looked like a homeless person--the summer we started dating he wore the same T-shirt for two months. But he was kind to the core. When I was ready to sell my condo, he invited me to live with him rent free so that I could take my time to look for a new place.

This guy didn't impress me in the beginning, but as time went on, he was the true jackpot. He helped me get the home I live in today. The other guy just thought about himself.

It just goes to show what you see on the surface is shallow and means nothing. You have to look deeper to discover the truth.

1 comment:

  1. Hi fellow Empowered Blogger! So glad I found your blog and looking forward to following!
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