Sunday, September 7, 2014

Making Peace With Your Body

As breast cancer survivors,  I am pretty sure there is one thing we all have in common--body image issues. Our issues about our bodies are very different from the women out there who believe they can never be thin enough.  Our angst goes beyond trying to camouflage a tummy bulge. Back in the day, I was horrified at the point in my life when I crossed over from a size 6 dress to a size 8. What I would do to have that problem now!

For us breast cancer survivors, striving to maintain a thin and toned body is only part of our self-image equation. We must make peace with the map of scars on our physicality that will mark us for life. When a new man sweeps me off my feet, I must come clean about how I beat this disease called breast cancer so there are no surprises. Lucky for me, baring my soul to a man before I bared my body has had no bad consequences. In fact, I believe my whole survivorship story elevates my appeal to some guys. 

But still. There is no erasing those scars. They will always be there. It is ironic that all the plastic surgery I got through breast reconstructive surgery has made me look a hell of a lot better in clothes. When I go to parties,  there have been women my age that have had a few too many drinks and blurted out: "How come your boobs are so perky?" I just give them a serene smile and reply: "It's my reward for battling breast cancer."

That's when I look at those women and weigh in: Saggy boobs versus scarred boobs--you be the judge. That's when I realize that when you get to be in your 50s, there is no way in hell you are ever going to rock a bikini like you did at 25--whether you had breast cancer or not. In middle age, we all have something going on with our body that doesn't look so hot. Before I had breast cancer, I had not one surgical scar on my body. But I did have some oversized boobs that I believe only made me look dumpy. That problem has since been solved. With my clothes on, today my boobs look mighty fine.

Now if only I could get back into a size 8.

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